Hi Morkel
I think you me well enough by now that I will always give my honest opinion...

I am afraid the image does not work for me either......
TBH photographing of elephant body parts are really difficult to get right, its been done a lot , we have all tried our hand at it at some stage... so getting an unique perspective is very difficult..
So first thing for me I have seen this perspective a lot, secondly the BKG needs to be uniform in both texture and tonal range so as not to detract from subject...the horizontal composition does not work maybe 1:1 or vertical
the grass botttom RHS needs culling..
the conversion is very subjective and my own personal view would be to lighten the trunk (red) and have a completely dark BKG , therefore the emphasis would be on the trunk/tusk...
And I will reiterate what I have said before , just because it does not work in colour does not mean it will work in B&W...

because we see B&W image in shades of grey , tonality,form ,texture are more prominent than when we shoot in colour...
I would recommend for those who are really serious about b&W and have never shot B&W film or developed it a darkroom,if ever the opportunity presents itself..please consider it .. it really is an amazing and enriching experience, watching a latent image come alive before your eyes is magical..