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Thread: High Sierra Morning

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    Default High Sierra Morning

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    High Sierra Morning

    With morning's breath upon my face
    I feel the majesty of this place
    Song birds cry out their daily intents
    A symphony warming their instruments

    The lake's lapping water awakens my soul
    Clearing mental debris that has taken its toll
    A giver of life, a mother, and more
    Gently kissing her granite shore

    Alpenglow signals the coming of sun
    Repeating today what always was done
    The magic of dawn seeks to quiet my mind
    Leaving body and soul completely aligned

    I contemplate thinking of some delay
    For last night the stars came out to play
    My vision was clearer than ever before
    Those galaxies calling my spirit to soar

    My hands touch the ground, I'm beginning to see
    The heartbeat of earth is speaking to me
    All of these gifts are making me stronger
    Perhaps I can dwell just a little bit longer

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    Hank, I just love the line "The heartbeat of earth is speaking to me". This really appeals to me and makes me feel as though I am there. Very nicely done.:)

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    Thanks Denise. Summers in the High Sierra is one of my favorite places to spend time. The destinations seem limitless and everyone you meet has a big smile on their face. I tried to capture some of what I feel waking up in such a place.

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    Very nicely done. "Gently kissing her granite shore" Well said.

    Eric Virkler
    Faces of Nature Photography
    www.ericjvirkler.com

  5. #5
    Lance Warley
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    "Those galaxies calling my spirit to soar" is the line that knocked me off my chair.

    Beautifully done from start to finish, Hank. Outstanding use of rhyme and metaphors to communicate your feelings.

    And the photo is great, too.

    Very small suggestion: In the first stanza, you might consider deleting both "their" words.

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    Thanks all for the positive feedback! And thanks Lance for the suggestion. I took another look at the first stanza (very few of my poems I ever consider "finished" - I'm always looking for improvement). I definitely see where you are going with removing "their". However, when I do so, I think that the rhythm of the words suffers a little. I took a step back, and was able to at least replace the first "their", which I think improves the stanza in two ways:

    1. I am no longer repeating "their" in two consecutive lines, which (unless intentional) can sometimes sound pretty amateur
    2. I now use alliteration in line 3, which seems to roll off my tongue a little easier

    Let me know what you think:

    With morning's breath upon my face
    I feel the majesty of this place
    Song birds signaling daily intents
    A symphony warming their instruments

  7. #7
    Lance Warley
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    Both changes work, especially the alliteration.

    Well done, Hank.

  8. #8
    Julie Kenward
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    Well done! I'm blown away by all of it, actually. The first and second to last stanzas really grabbed me, though. Excellent use of words to raise the experience of a photograph.

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    OOTB Moderator Kerry Perkins's Avatar
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    Beautifully done Hank! Lovely words and image, and I can relate - having spent many nights backpacking in the Sierras. This looks very familiar! Is it somewhere around Cottonwood Lakes or Horseshoe Meadows?
    "It is an illusion that photos are made with the camera... they are made with the eye, heart, and head." - Henri Cartier Bresson

    Please visit me on the web at http://kerryperkinsphotography.com


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    Thanks Kerry. This was taken at Boundary Lake, on the border of Yosemite and Emigrant Wilderness. The trailhead is accessible via Cherry Lake. This is one of my favorite lakes in the Sierras (so far), surrounded by gently sloping granite - perfect for a quick dip on a hot day. The trail peters out at 11 miles (at Boundary Lake), so going further into the backcountry requires cross-country travel.

    A few years ago I did a 3 day x-country loop from Boundary, scrambling up peaks and exploring river drainages. We climbed one peak, found a summit log (a mini spiral rolled inside a jar) that was started in 1972 and whose last entry was 1986! It was pretty amazing to think no one had been in that spot for 20 years.

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    OOTB Moderator Kerry Perkins's Avatar
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    Thanks Hank, beautiful country to be sure. Sounds like a wonderful trip you had!
    "It is an illusion that photos are made with the camera... they are made with the eye, heart, and head." - Henri Cartier Bresson

    Please visit me on the web at http://kerryperkinsphotography.com


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