I like the contrasting BG with the subject. You appear to have enough DOF, but I would suggest more sharpening as it looks just a little soft to me. Thanks for sharing Jeff. :)
I think it looks soft, especially on the neck, perhaps not soft, but hazy if that makes sense? I like the catchlight though, nice and clear. ditto on the brightness, perhaps a slight tweak to the black point before sharpening?
Your repost is a 100% improvement as far as I can see. Congrats, good job mate. :) Not sure if you follow this method, but after you resize the image for web, zoom into 100% and see how the sharpening changes the appearance of the final image. That's the key. :)