Nicely exposed, sharp, good head angle, soft light, right sized perch.
I might try to lighten the eye just a bit to help it stand out. This is almost always an issue with these guys, the eye tends to blend in with the black cap.
I do feel it is cropped a bit tight for my taste, and would add a bit of room in all directions.
Nice pose with an excellent view of the white wing-bars. Perfect head angle. Exposure looks great, and you got a good clean BG. Rather than in full breeding plumage, it is still in the process of attaining it. I see a magenta cast in the whites and on the perch. Desaturating completely the magenta channel gives a nice result. Perhaps a bit tight in the frame.
I'm rather inexperienced. The re-do looks better than the original post to me, but frankly I didn't recognize any problems with the original when I first looked. I can see the slight magenta cast after reading the comments. The learning value of the posting and commenting is quite high. Thank you all.
One question: How does one best lighten a black eye?