Self critique: about the only thing that could be considered is the eye. It needs more life to it. Thought of adding a catch-light but descided not to as some of the ambient light was being reflected in the eye. Maybe crop a little from top and bottom.
EXIF
Camera: Canon 30D
Lense: Canon EF 500 IS L @ f 4.0 + 1.4 T/C (effective focal length 700mm)
Mode: all manual
Metering: averaging
ISO: 400
White bal.: 5450K
Exposure: 1/400 @ f 5.6, exp comp. -.66, fill flash 1/8 power; Better Beamer extender
Beautiful bird. Colors ans sharpness are there. I agree with your self critique on the eye. You could try to select only the eye and increase contrast (slight curve), this will enhance the natural light effect. You could then darken it a bit if need be.
Hi Mark Regarding the flash I think you are better using ETTL? It does a nice job and its easy to control. One trick you can do is fire two or three consecutive frames. The first will be full power, the next somewhat less since capacitor has not fully charged and the third probably won't fire (would depend on battery source) Another advantage of the sequence is that it will teach you what compensation looks best !!!