I like it! Despite the jewelry and the very much worn wing feathers I find it to be an appealing incoming flight pose. Maybe just a touch more sharpening for web to bring out the fine detail, and you could also explore a version with a bit of canvas trimmed away at the bottom.
head on shots are always a challenge with long necked birds like swans, as the dof rarely allows everything to be in the plane of focus. I find the wings a bit sharper than the head, so agree with Daniel about a bit more sharpening.
If circumstances allow, a smaller f/stop on flight shots can be handy, as you aren't worried about the background being too sharp or distracting.