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denise ippolito
08-20-2009, 08:43 AM
We entered the trailhead at Glacier Point
Our journey had begun
The path was forged through rolling hills
We were headed into the sun

The remnants of the years gone past
Were so visible everywhere
The dead trees poked up from the ground
And the forest was now quite bare

As we got further into the hike
Not another soul was found
We came across a lonely bear track
That was molded in the ground

We made our way to a high point
With views of the valley below
We could see across the vista
To where the waterfalls would flow

We rounded the corner and soon we would see
Half Dome in our view
The granite rock with a glowing top
Had an ever changing hue

Going deeper into the trail
We found a spot to take a break
Across the bridge we stood
Pondering the images we would make

Our souls bonded deep with nature
As we hiked this vast wilderness
When the trail ended we were both beat
The mountains would take no less


I took this image from the Panorama Trail, I liked it and I know many of you will say I should have moved left or right-but this time I wanted to make the dead tree obscure the mountains, that was just my vision.

Lance Warley
08-20-2009, 10:10 AM
I would not not not (did I say "not?") say to move one way or the other. I love foreground trees. I think they add tremendous depth by making viewers feel they want to look around the tree to see what's behind it.

The poem is great...plenty of substance. Just one thing on the rhyme scheme, Denise. All the stanzas are ABCB, and it works, except for the first one. You might want to do a touch-up there.

denise ippolito
08-20-2009, 10:18 AM
Lance, I fixed it see if it's better.Thanks!!!:)

I love FG trees also.

Lance Warley
08-20-2009, 10:21 AM
Cha-ching!!!!!!!!!!! :))))))

david cramer
08-20-2009, 11:00 AM
I would have composed the tree to the left, but I understand your vision. Very nice work with the color. I enjoyed the poem, an added treat!

denise ippolito
08-20-2009, 11:19 AM
David, Thankyou very much. I appreciate the feedback. You know I'm a big fan of your work.

Ákos Lumnitzer
08-20-2009, 06:36 PM
Very nice picture to go with your poem. The landscape looks charred as if it were razed by a fire. Which is probably not the case, just your treatment really conveys the barrenness of the forest and the mountain that takes your breath away (and your energy). Great poem to go with it. :)

denise ippolito
08-20-2009, 06:52 PM
Akos, Thanks for your edit. I changed it. Glad you like it.:)

Julie Kenward
08-21-2009, 05:16 PM
I like the tree position! I think it's height mimics the height of the mountains. Lance is right - the poetry sings along now.

denise ippolito
08-22-2009, 08:25 AM
Thanks Jules.