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Fabs Forns
11-01-2008, 06:58 PM
Morning came again. A familiar stab of pain hit me as I became conscious.
Throbbing if I move left, burning if I turn right. Decision time, since moving straight up is not an option. I roll slowly, like a wounded animal, and sit in bed. My core is screaming. I sum up all my courage and get on my feet. My knees wobble and I reach for the blessed support of the wall.
Silent humiliation. Getting that cup of coffee is again, a symphony of pain.

I took a fall. No big deal, I thought, as tears rolled down my cheeks, I'll be fine in a couple. But the old sack of bones refuses to heal. Old and modern medicine agree it takes time. Time that I don't have.
It is ironic, when I had all the time in the world, my body healed overnight. Now, when every day is precious, because it may be close to the last one, it takes time. What has become of my carnal housing? What went wrong?

My spirit ain't tired. It can still run, fly, do somersaults over water, jump from cloud to cloud, slide down the rainbow, balance from the tip of the new moon. Why then am I incarcerated in a decaying, malfunctioning, material jail? Did I not use it kindly? Did I maybe abuse it?

Oh, my long time companion, don't give up on me. We still have roads to travel, a couple of pilgrimages left. Cut me some slack, have mercy and let us do a few things together until the day comes when we part, you be put to rest and I can finally get to ride the crest of those waves.

Julie Kenward
11-02-2008, 12:11 PM
I'm so sorry you're in pain, Fabs. I do have to say though that this is the best descriptive image of what pain "looks" like that I've ever seen. It makes my nerve endings jump just to look at it!

Jackie Schuknecht
11-02-2008, 12:56 PM
I find this even more powerful when you read the verse. The bird is trying to make it out of the frame and out of its' limiting body, but does not look like he makes it. Makes me think of the saying "youth wasted on the young".
I find this one got me in the gut too.

Gus Cobos
11-02-2008, 10:29 PM
Miss Fabs,
I truly understand, I know what you are saying and going through. I too have seen this beast called pain; which lives in this mortal plane...but the beast is destroyed and sent away when you tell it to. You, and only you with the power of your free will and mind will command it away, because you tell it to, and you want to...Your mind controls body; your mind moves the energy, your energy. Wish it away...wish it away and it will go away, yes medicine helps in controlling the chemical balance in your body, but your mind moves the energy to make it happen. I know it hurts, I know it cripples, but I also know that you can, and will make it go away. This pure energy from the heart is called will power; unleash it; and the beast of pain will go away...:)

Nicki Gwynn Jones
11-03-2008, 03:10 AM
Fabs, you are in my thoughts and prayers. What a powerful combination of word and image.
With love,
Nicki

David Lowell
11-03-2008, 05:59 AM
Miss Fabs

My thoughts are of you; may your physical being heal quickly in order to keep up with your spiritual being!

Lance Warley
11-03-2008, 08:45 AM
Who could read this and not feel what you're feeling? No one.

I certainly hope time passes as quickly as possible so that this event becomes a memory, rather than a reality.

Best best best wishes to a speedy recovery, Fabs.

Grace Scalzo
11-09-2008, 07:43 PM
Powerful image, Fabs, powerful words. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts.

Keith Carver
11-12-2008, 12:11 PM
I just discovered this forum today, and this was the first post I opened. I just had no idea before this about your pain, but this image and your words are moving, Fabs. My thoughts that you will heal - quickly - are with you.

Lance Warley
11-12-2008, 12:40 PM
Now that you know it's here, we hope you'll post something, Keith :)

Fabs Forns
11-12-2008, 12:42 PM
Thank you all, I was given the go-ahead to exercise again for next week.

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers :) They work ;)

Chris Starbuck
11-16-2008, 05:33 PM
Fabs,
I'm glad you're on the mend now; I know it seems to take forever. You'll continue to be in my thoughts & prayers.

I don't think I had visited this forum before this afternoon, and your post immediately caught my eye. Moving beyond words. Much empathy here - I came home from the hospital this past Wednesday after my 3rd (and hopefully last) abdominal surgery in the past 2 1/2 months. Your first paragraph pretty much describes where I am at present. Somehow it helps to have someone express it so eloquently - both the words and the image.

Someone has said pain shared is pain divided, joy shared is joy multiplied (or something like that). You've certainly shared much joy with us through your images. May your pain be divided by all the many friends you have here.

Roman Kurywczak
01-27-2009, 03:58 PM
Hi Fabs,
Lurking in here today......Wow.....didn't know?? Speaking as someone who has a bad unoperable back.......you have captured the feeling and look of pain quite well. In a way....photography makes it more tolerable for me. I enjoyed our days out and am glad that you are feeling a bit better! You have good days and bad.....I hope and pray you have many more good ones! Hope you feel better every day!